A Defining Moment of Self-Discovery
69Unlocking The Mystery - Sabrina Tells All
Have you ever felt left behind and that life seems to pass you by, so quickly in fact that you barely have a moment to catch your breath? If I were to ask you the one question of all questions, it would be difficult to answer as quickly as it had been asked, could you do it?
Please introduce yourself...who are you? No, not what is your name. Who are you, what do you believe in, what are you passionate about, and what deep secrets have you buried, truly afraid to utter a word for fear someone may hear you?
Allow me to go first, I am Sabrina Delaney of RWadvancements. On the surface, I am compelled to foster growth and compassion among women, humanity in general. I am deeply and passionately driven to help others succeed and accomplish the "what if" in life. But below the surface, that is where the real mystery unfolds. Life is a journey, self-expression is the reward and challenges are the keys that provide strength.
You and I, will embark on a journey through life's mysteries. I will be sharing with you many topics of relationships, abuse, building self-esteem, when Mr. Right was really Mr. Wrong and how to know the difference, challenges, humor, career, wedding bliss, communication, breaking old habits, how to conquer painful experiences and how to survive the test of time.
I would enjoy getting to know you, and I hope that you will stop by to view my latest updates with travel, planning weddings or commitment ceremonies, our boutiques and to meet our chefs. A very important part of this journey is to understand where you have been, where you are now and learning how to celebrate who you are by embracing the opportunities life has to offer through self-expression. Are you passionate about cooking and want to learn more? There are so many ways to pursue self-expression.
You are encouraged to follow "Sabrina Tells All" and to share your questions so that we may travel this journey together. There is nothing more powerful than unlocking the mystery and realizing what can emerge in the process.
Letter to Sabrina
Dear Sabrina:
I like feeling special. You know, when a guy spends time with me and tells me that he wants to be with only me. The other day he promised that we would spend time together but he never showed up. I heard rumors about him and his old girlfriend. I know we fought over stupid stuff and maybe I deserved it at least a little. You know, he has called me some names and he made fun of me in front of some friends the other night. I didn't like it and I told him so. I don't know, I don't think he took it seriously and now I don't know what to think. Can you help me to understand?
Bewildered and not feeling so special right now. - Sofia -
---------------------------------------------------
Sofia:
Relationships can be very complex and not necessarily black and white in nature. I will answer your question with the information that you provided. First, I would like to encourage you to listen to your inner voice. It is a shame that it is so easy to become lost in a jungle of confusion, but our inner voice can help to show us the way if we allow it to. The key is to listen with your reasoning and not with your heart. Our emotional self seems so often to dictate and tug at our heart strings, but our inner voice really is the voice of reason.
At first you will be challenged and torn between both dimensions, but in time you will master the control over your heart. In doing so, you will have the ability to stand tall and not be swayed by tempting words with little value. You will take comfort in knowing that you are in control of your destiny and not merely a pawn in a game of chance.
I wish you the best Sofia. Take time to be kind to yourself, because the most important person in your life to love is you.
- Sabrina Delaney - Blending of Hearts Today, Tomorrow, Into the Future!
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New topic's idea. Deserves a hop up:)
Who am I, That is a question I have recently asked myself. How did I get to be this person and is it my destiny to remain as I am. I have had 52 years of perpetual hell and don't see any reason to believe it will change. Too many years spent blaming other for my lot in life have taken their toll. I find it dificult not to blame those who taught me to be who and what I am. These lessons consisted of leaving me to my own devices. The most beneficial lesson I learned was how not to feel, ever. I have reached the point that I have no interest in continuing this journey called life and yet, I still seek answers. Perhaps it's time to change the questions I have been asking myself for years. The newest question is this. If the path you are on is nothing more than a circle that leads no where, at what point does it begin to make sense to quit walking. Sorry for headlong dive into darkness. I have recently made the decision to stop pretending the world and my life are perfect. If I can't be true to me how can I ever be anything to anyone else?
Stump Parrish:
My heart goes out to you because I heard the thoughts behind your words. Although you did not share specific details, please realize that you have taken the first step in moving forward. You are very intelligent and I enjoyed your newest thought provoking question. "At what point does it begin to make sense to quit walking?"
You are no longer walking in a circle, because where you are standing right now is at a crossroad. Which one shall it be?
Your past feels dark, lonely and empty. The struggle is just too much for you right now, but you realize the struggle is all that you have and it keeps you actively seeking an answer.
What you are seeking is a starting point. To do this you will need to leave the past behind and exit the circle. I know it can be overwhelming and it means that you will need to feel the hurt one last time. Some cultures have cleansing ceremonies to help gain closure.
Let us go through this together and help others to understand how to manage the disappointments in life. Gather pieces of paper and on each I want you to write down every possible disappointment you have experienced or felt that caused you to enter the circle.
Then, pick each one up, one at at time, and read it out loud. Think about the experience and how it made you feel. Close your eyes and imagine that you are shedding your old self and soon you will arise from your cocoon as a butterfly.
Visualize your leaving the circle that has trapped you all this time. Think about what you want to accomplish for you. Take the first disappointment that is on paper and shred it slowly all the while you chant, "I am in control of my destiny. I am taking back the control in my life. I will succeed BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT. I love who I am no matter what anyone else thinks."
Do this with each disappointment. Take your bag of disappointments and bury them. Mourn the loss of those many years, but then walk away and embrace what is ahead. Vow to take small steps as building blocks, to begin the process of experiencing your feelings once again as you begin to love who you have become.
Right now you are probably saying, "Sure, whatever." Trust me when I say that somewhere along the way you gave the control of your life and destiny away. It is time for you to take back the power and become a butterfly. It is a struggle and it will take time.
The next time the negative thoughts creep back, begin the process again. Hopefully over time the disappointments that you bury will become smaller and smaller. You see my friend, you are now burying all the negativity on the outside this time rather than way down deep inside of your soul. There is no need for you to carry this with you each day any longer.
After you bury your disappointments, I want you to take more pieces of paper and write nice thoughts to your self. It can be a compliment, a smiley face, a picture of pleasant scenery, goals and anything else that is a positive thought. Each day look at a few of them and remember them throughout the day.
Before you know it the circle will be a thing of the past. The struggle will make you strong. When you look in the mirror give yourself a smile. Take a good look at your facial expression and begin to see the transformation. Then tell yourself, "Looking Good!"
I wish you the best my friend. You are about to fly away into your future as a beautiful magnificent butterfly. You will partake of a journey that will unravel all the mystery of how joyous life can be for REAL this time.
I believe in you, and I know you will find your way out of the circle of despair. It has refused to allow positive feelings into your life, growth and change. There is strength inside of you, anxiously awaiting the chance to cherish all that is wonderful.
- Sabrina Tells All -
Blending of Hearts Today, Tomorrow, Into the Future!
www.RWadvancements.com
Sabrina, It has been a very long time since anyone truly suprised me. Not with words or actions but with insight. This is one of those times.
I also understand the symbolism of the butterfly. What you suggested I try is something I am familar with. I was instructed to do something similar when I chrcked myself into rehab years ago. It took me a minute to realize I had never followed thru with the process. We were instructed to write a letter to ourselves doing exactly what you suggested. This letter was to be burned in a group ceromony without anyone reading it. Circumstances dictated that I was unable to finish the program. Rather than burn it as instructed I kept it. I kept this with me for 5 or 6 years and forgot to take it with me when my ex and I split. I still don't know if this was an accident or intentional. The possiblity exists that I left it in the hopes that my ex or one of my girls would find it and have a little understanding of what made me incapable of being the spouse or parent they deserved.
On a side note I find it interesting that I awoke from a dead sleep and immediately logged on to hub pages. Thanks for giving something to think about and for your interest in my situation. Peace my friend and I will stay in touch and update you with my progress if there is any.
Welcome to HubPages, Sabrina.
I found this hub after reading an amazing comment you wrote in Stump Parrish's hub titled, "Dealing With Suppressed Memories, Part I."
I have to say that the comments between the two of you are as real as it gets, an excellent example of the kind of communication that leads to a defining moment of self discovery.
For most of my adult life I have been on a journey of self discovery and though I'm almost 60 now, I continue to learn new things about myself and those I love on an ongoing basis.
But my defining moment of self-discovery came at age 37 when, during psychotherapy, I recovered a repressed memory of my father almost strangling my mother to death when I was 5. Facing and dealing with that memory was key to saving my marriage as it helped me sort through a deep seated fear of men that was, at that time, threatening to destroy my marriage. With the help of our marriage counselor my husband and I were able to forge a loving, trusting bond that has grown deeper the longer we've been together. We had individual therapy, each facing our own demons (his related to the Vietnam War and anger issues; mine related to a traumatic childhood).
I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is real value in self-discovery and it can help free us from a past that needs to be dealt with and then shed.
I'm rating this hub up and useful.
Hello Happyboomernurse:
You have definitely discovered the true meaning behind the words. Please continue to complete the circle of life by sharing with others the value of your success. We can all learn from each other.
As our road of life in this realm nears completion, the most important value that our life represents is when we have made a difference in the life of another, by sharing our discovery. You are most definitely an inspiration for all.
- Sabrina Tells All -
Blending of Hearts Today, Tomorrow, Into the Future!
RWadvancements.com
As the first hub i read from you this is fantastic one good words great way in writing and a very important subject to talk about i realy enjoyed it and looking for more from you as your words inspiring me alot
A Powerful Deception
Darknlovely3436 Level 5 Commenter 12 months ago
interesting hub